20 Dad Jokes to Share with the Old Man on Father's Day

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  • 01
    DAD
  • 02
    If I have twin daughters, I'll name one Kate. And I'll name the other Duplikate.
  • 03
    A pregnant woman is in the hospital and she starts screaming, "Couldn't, wouldn't, don't, won't!" The nurse asked the doctor, "Is she losing her mind?" The doctor replied, "No, those are just contractions."
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  • 04
    What do you call a man who lost his phone? You don't call him
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  • 05
    Bald Dating is a dating app for bald people that's completely free. You don't have toupee.
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  • 06
    What do you call one hundred baby sheep rolling down a hill? A lambslide
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  • 07
    Which demographic buys the most barbies? Australian fathers
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  • 08
    What do you call a moose with no name? Anonymoose
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  • 09
    Lance is a very uncommon name nowadays Back in medieval times, people were called Lance a lot.
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  • 10
    A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says "wow, I've never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?" "Pop", goes the weasel.
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  • 11
    Yesterday I saw a police officer wearing a pilots uniform I thought it was a bit odd. Then I realised he was one of those plane clothes cops.
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  • 12
    fa.ther (fa'ther) n. 1. Protector, teacher and encourager. 2. Picks you up when you fall, brushes off and lets you try again. you (See also: banker, hero, playmate, coach.)
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  • 13
    Why do people in the military wear uniforms? To minimalize casual tees.
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  • 14
    Airport police say that the number of people smuggling helium balloons in their luggage is under control. But cases continue to rise.
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  • 15
    Why do nuns fidget with their necklaces? Because they're feeling a little cross.
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  • 16
    What did the body wash say to the guy entering the shower? Hi, Gene!
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  • 17
    I really hate jokes about wells, so please don't tell anymore of them... You dig?
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  • 18
    What do you call a guy with no shins? Tony
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  • 19
    My niece calls me Ankle I call her my knees.
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  • 20
    There is a fine line between a denominator and a numerator. Only a fraction of people will find this funny.
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  • 21
    My dad always said he got his best sleep on public transportation Great guy, terrible bus driver.
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  • 22
    What is the most common cliffhanger on Reddit? [removed]
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